Erectile Dysfunction

How to Deal with Erectile Dysfunction in a Marriage


It is not the man alone who suffers when ED hits, but the woman too. Responsible for ruining countless relationships, erectile dysfunction is one formidable sexual disorder that all men fear alike. The inability to achieve and maintain an erection during sex is no less than a nightmare to men. Physical intimacy between couples goes out for a toss with this frustrating and troubling sexual dysfunction.

Erectile dysfunction in marriage is double dysfunction. Not only the man suffers, but the woman also pays the price.”

– Jenna Polsky, Ph.D., Pfizer, Vancouver.

Ed and the Sexless Relationship

Physical intimacy vitalizes the bond in a marriage. A dearth of sex between couples due to erectile dysfunction can strain the relationship. Oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone,” is released when a man and woman get physically intimate. Deficiency of this hormone can make you feel disconnected from your partner, put you under stress, and grow emotionally distant from each other.

Therefore, it is of utmost importance to seek help when you face persistent difficulty in achieving and maintaining an erection. Trust us; you don’t want to find yourself stuck in sexless marriage forever. Get help.

Ed Is Not Uncommon

You’d be surprised by the prevalence of erectile dysfunction in men nowadays. A 2018 study indicates that about one-third of all men suffer from erectile dysfunction. Sexual dysfunction is more common in older men, above 40 years of age. But we are witnessing a growing trend in male impotence cases in younger men too. 

We understand that erection problems can feel like nature’s plot against you, but the widespread occurrence should calm your nerves that you are not the only one suffering.

“A woman may struggle with the notion that she’s no longer attractive to her man. Even if the man assures her, it’s not true; there’s still worry there. The stronger a woman’s self-esteem is, the less threatened she’ll feel by her partner’s erectile dysfunction. The more supportive she’ll be.”

– Karen Donahey, Ph.D., Director of the Sex and Marital Therapy Program, Northwestern University Medical Center, Chicago.

Get to the Root of Ed

To a woman in marriage, it can feel like it’s her who’s responsible for their man’s struggle in getting erect. That you are not attractive enough and whatnot. But the truth cannot be far from it. A man with ED is never a woman’s fault. ED can stem from various physiological or psychological issues in men. Anxiety, stress, shame, guilt, unhealthy lifestyle, excessive alcohol consumption, etc. are some of the major contributors to impotence in men.

Men with narrowed and hardened arteries in the penile region usually succumb to male impotence. The constricted, narrowed arteries do not carry required blood flow to the penis resulting in erection problems.


Go to the Doctor with Your Man

Accept the awkwardness and have a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner about his erection problem. The onus also lies on you to support and guide your man; however, you can in such hard times. Men feel embarrassed about erectile dysfunction due to the stigma attached to it and hence do not reach out for help.

Encourage and convince your partner to see a doctor. Your partner might hesitate at first, but in the long run, he’ll appreciate that you were there for him. It is really in such trying times that intimacy and bond between couples strengthen.


Have Patience with the Ed Pills

Your doctor may prescribe you with anti-impotence medications such as Viagra, Levitra, Vardenafil for your erection problem. It depends on the nature and severity of your erection dysfunction, whether they would recommend you take anti-impotence pills daily or on an as-needed basis.

To eliminate erectile dysfunction completely, one must adhere to the dosage guidelines prescribed by the doctor and complete the due medicinal course. Learn How to Deal with Erectile Dysfunction in a Marriage. Never self-medicate or self-prescribe ED pills. ED treatment requires time and patience. If you want the long-lost erections of your teenage years back, then stick to the dose and duration of course advised by the doctor.

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Encourage Your Spouse to Get Heart-healthy

In addition to the prescription pills, one should also engage in strenuous physical activity regularly. Learn How to Deal with Erectile Dysfunction in a Marriage. Exercising keeps the heart-healthy. Blood pumping through the heart is improved, and arteries widen, making it possible for more blood to circulate throughout the body, especially in the pelvic region.

Including nutrient and anti-oxidant rich foods in your daily diet also goes a long way. Spinach, carrot, chilly, cocoa, coffee, watermelon, banana, etc. should always be in your grocery list for a healthy heart. These foods increase blood circulation and also enhance the effects of nitric oxide in the body.

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Some Scientific Studies on Ed and Its Effects on Marriage

Multiple studies have been performed to study the effects of erectile dysfunction on marriages. They have pointed out that wives usually understand and adjust to their husbands’ erection problem, which effectively improves their relationship, and brings them closer. Learn How to Deal with Erectile Dysfunction in a Marriage. Experts suggest that with better therapeutic and medical intervention and counseling of couples, marriage can be saved from falling.

One study conducted on married couples suggests that there is a correlation between sexual dysfunction and marital dissatisfaction. Men, with no erection problems, often lead a happier and fulfilling married life.

“It is crucial that a man and woman in marriage must come together to fight against erectile dysfunction. Hard battles of life must be fought together by couples.”

– Irvin Trador, Sex Therapist, California.

Tips for Sexually Frustrated Couples

  1. Have a genuine conversation with your partner about ED and know in your heart that this too shall pass. It is not the end of your sex life. 
  2. Engage in oral sex. Heck, try masturbating together. Trying something new will spice up things in the bedroom. 
  3. Relax. Sexual dysfunction in men is not a permanent thing. Medications, coupled with a healthy lifestyle, will soon get you guys back in the game again. Be patient.
  4. Go solo. Make love to yourself. Masturbating alone is self-care. Take good care of yourself.

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